According to the People Who Already Did

Nearly everyone has had a crush and remembers how all-consuming it can feel at the time. A glance in the hallway, a mutual friend, or a random text can suddenly feel like a much grander gesture when it’s someone you like. One minute you’re fine, and the next you’re planning a future with someone who doesn’t even know your middle name. It feels dramatic because it is, at least when you’re in the middle of it. When it comes to crushes, it’s important to keep perspective in mind, so why not ask the people who have been there before us? After talking to a mix of Oakland Mills teachers and alumni about their own high school love stories, here are their warnings, success stories, and advice. 

Before anyone was falling in love, they were falling into hallway fantasies. OM Psychology teacher Mrs. Anderson-Little described this phase as the typical classic freshman-likes-senior situation: a lacrosse-playing, football-walking distraction with a perfect jawline. She remembers sweaty palms, feeling flustered during volleyball, and absolutely zero conversations. 

Officer Agard, the OM SRO, explained how he had one girlfriend senior year, went to prom, and realized it wasn’t that deep. His dating philosophy is simple: if you like someone, tell them. Life is short at the end of the day. 

Mr. Ringgold, the OM BSAP Liason, took temporary crushes to an international level with every vacation he took. Eventually, he learned that liking someone doesn’t mean you need to act on it, especially when the fantasy is often better than the reality.

Of course, some crushes evolve into full-blown relationships, complete with plot twists. OM alumni Rebecca Fairbanks, Class of 2023, started dating her crush during the COVID-19 epidemic. Lasting two and a half years, it was a serious relationship, as the two spent all of their time together. Fairbanks then realized she was doing everything for him and nothing for herself. After the breakup, she was able to find who she truly was in order to rebuild her life. Her advice: protect your peace and trust your gut before it starts yelling. 

OM English teacher Mrs. Brown-Fordham had a boyfriend who gave her a promise ring in 10th grade. She wore it for a week before returning it at church like she was cancelling a subscription. The pressure of being the ideal “cute couple” was overwhelming, and she realized quickly that everything is possible, but not everything is going to be your possible. 

Many teachers expressed that though they liked their high school crush, as soon as they hit college, goals and priorities change and suddenly that relationship went bye-bye. 

Just when you think high school love is doomed, someone casually mentions they married their prom date. OM science teacher Ms. Benson started dating her now-husband because he needed a date to prom and she wanted to go to the dance. They literally agreed to dump each other when they found someone better. Spoiler alert: they never did. They grew up together, survived college and long distance, and even started a book club to stay connected. Their families basically merged before they were even adults.

So if you’re in the middle of a crush right now, making deep analyses of text messages, romanticizing the slightest interactions, wondering if this feeling will last forever, just know that it most likely will not. High school love isn’t usually about finding your person, because the only person you are finding right now is yourself. It is about learning what you like, what you don’t, and what you absolutely refuse to tolerate. High school crushes are meant to be dramatic, silly, and temporary; they are more-often-than-not practice. They are character development. And someday, they’ll help you make a great story.