BREAKING NEWS: Super Scorp Steps Up to Delinquency

Review over the heroic uprising of OM’s mascot

This just-in- Recent reports surrounding the decline of student disobedience and disruption have risen to an all-time high. Since the beginning of February, it has been a mystery as to why the misconduct rate has dropped, but we have evidential reasoning to believe this was caused by just one man: a superhero.

Witnesses claim to have heard commotion coming from the restrooms before an entity draped in orange was identified walking out dragging two students by their shirt collars. One student reported walking into a washroom only to depart after intruding on a gang of vandalizers. The student looked up to see a monumental figure marching in his direction. “He was very big with a huge grin on his face,” the individual described. “His posture was immaculate and quite intimidating,” said a bystanding teacher.

From what we know, this vigilante enforces school policy by stalking the loiters of the bathroom and apprehending class-skippers. Those who treat others with disrespect are his primary adversaries though, and Super Scorp strikes troublemakers with a fist (or claw) of discipline. His physical description states him being a muscular male dressed in an all-orange bodysuit and chivalrous cape that flows in the wind. A distinct feature regards him having scorpion-like pincers rather than human hands.

In an interview, Super Scorp explained how he used to get picked on for his deformity, but learned to stand up to the ones who taunted his appearance and encouraged others to do the same. On his chest stand the letters ‘O’ and ‘M’, representing the initials of the greatest high school in Howard County.

During our interview with him, Super Scorp promised safety and said he will do everything in his power to bring this school justice. “I eat bullies for breakfast,” he remarked. As the mascot of Oakland Mills, we can look up to him as a guardian who serves to protect the campus from harm’s way.

When Super Scorp isn’t dealing with meddling rulebreakers, he spends his time cheering on the Oakland Mills Football Team as they practice for upcoming games. Players on the team say that his encouraging remarks make him not only a man of the people but for the sports’ success as well. “Man, I love that guy!” comments one player. Super Scorp uses his supernatural stamina to jump onto the field to hype up his allies with enthusiasm, never failing to cheer on his community.

Questions concerning the alter-ego of Super Scorp go unanswered. Who could be under the mask? To that question, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.