How OM Students are affected by Gender Roles

I’ve been spiraling about the state of the world lately. There are so many issues to pay attention to, and with my 18th birthday around the corner, it’s my responsibility as an adult to work to change the world for the better in any way I can. Women’s issues have always been a focus for me, and lately I’ve been noticing how our society’s system still caters to men. And I know gender rights, feminism, and the patriarchy are tired topics that most of us roll our eyes at because the conversation has been had time and time again. So why do so many instances exist where I or people I know have been forced into a box because of their identity? Why do women get catcalled? Why did Roe v. Wade get overturned? And why are health resources for women and trans people restricted?

So I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s clear that these issues relating to gender equality haven’t been talked about enough. Or that people don’t understand or even see the little things that are caused by inequality and a patriarchal society. Maybe if I bring attention to them, someone else will pay attention as well; and maybe a small change can be made. Like Zora Neale Hurston said, “If you are silent about your pain, they’ll kill you and say you enjoyed it.”

I interviewed students at Oakland Mills about how gender roles and the Patriarchy have impacted them because there’s a lack of real-life stories and perspectives from younger generations being platformed. I’ve kept all names anonymous because of the personal nature of some of the stories. Maybe some readers will relate and think about how they may have felt similarly. These stories are a part of a much broader picture and societal structure where nothing is insignificant.

“When my brother was in high school, he was allowed to go out at like 2 am. He’d stay out wherever and do bad things, get in trouble, but it was okay. But if I try to go out past ten, ‘You’re gonna get killed, and we’re never gonna find you.’ And the reason he was able to do that is because he’s a man; he’s a boy. My mom even said that.”

“It pretty much comes down to my family beliefs. I’m not the most feminine person. So when it comes to expectations, I don’t like those. I used to wear dresses; I don’t anymore. And I’ve had questions about that. ‘Why don’t you dress like this anymore?’ I just don’t feel comfortable in them anymore. I don’t really keep proper etiquette for women. It’s like, ‘You’re not supposed to cross your legs, cross your ankles.’ That’s a thing. I was taught …proper etiquette a couple years ago by my grandparents. They want me to be a proper lady. There’s a lot of, like, sort of hidden older rules that I’ve been told. Like, you should be doing it this way. So like, ‘Oh, why don’t you wear any makeup?. I look to like pretty much any of my cousins, they wear makeup. They’re pretty girly, wearing bows; they wear the dresses. At least on my dad’s side, they’re pretty conservative. Just like, how do I interact with people about clothing? Typically, when I’m with them, I have to wear more feminine clothing. Especially on special occasions, I’m expected to be more feminine. I do not think I could wear a suit. That wouldn’t be okay.”

“I never have been like the average guy ever since I was a kid. And especially in, like, African American households, a boy who doesn’t meet that criteria, like playing with action figures, being into superheroes, or playing a sport, is a sign he is probably quote-unquote ‘gay.’ … At least at the time when I was growing up, that was not a good thing. Like, in my family you’d be accepted or respected or whatever, but it would be more like behind their back, ‘Wow, that person is very much out there,’ [but] they’ll get their hair done by him, and they’ll reap the benefits… So for me, I was always interested in music and always interested in fashion-related things. I had to realize that doesn’t mean I’m interested in men. And that stems back to how society expects a guy to be. He’s expected to be sporty, a little stupid. And because of that, especially in my family, you get treated differently …It’s not bullying, but it was like ‘You’re different, and different is bad’.”

“I feel like in my house the decisions at play are mainly dictated by my dad; my mom can have an opinion and sway him, but the result is dependent on my dad.”

“As someone who identifies as a woman and dresses masculine, it’s not because I don’t want to dress feminine. I often feel like an imposter because of the societal expectation that to wear feminine clothing you have to have a feminine body. I think men don’t really have this pressure or expectation, at least in my experience.”

“One time when I was at the mall with my friends, this group of boys followed us store to store and eventually came up to us and said to me, ‘My friend likes you.’ It wasn’t the first time this happened, and I knew it was a trap. When guys come up to you and say this, you just need to ignore them. Any other response usually is followed by the ‘friend’ denying [it] and unceremoniously announcing that he could ‘Never like a girl like you’ to impress his friends, or continued harassment if you indulge them. Funny thing is, my mom says the boys when she was a kid did this too. I think it’s passed down from generation to generation. Taught disrespect for women.”

“The objectification of women. As a woman, when you’re in an environment where it’s a majority of men, there just seem to be two ways that they perceive women, which is either objectifying women, ignoring their right to speak, their opinions, disregarding all of that, or that the women speaking is just too emotional. And I feel really passionate about it. Like whenever I’m in a male-dominated setting, or even just the classroom, and I’m having a conversation, and I’m outnumbered by the amount of guys, it’s like everyone looks at me like, ‘Why are you being so emotional? Why do you care?’ Or not even why, but like, oh, she’s just emotional because she’s a woman. Or that her opinion isn’t valid and she doesn’t know as much because she depends too much on her feelings. It’s just really annoying.”

Gender rights may be a tired topic, but letting the topic lie does damage in itself. Gender rights affect everyone, and the negativity has been detrimental. It has bled into recurring issues like race and religion, which are often topics that have bigger movements and have a harsher effect on law changes and societal functions.